Stephanie Pappas in Scientific American (@sciam) discusses how research on the poly community is growing. Scientist are finding that compared to monogamous folks, poly people are better at communicating and self reflection, and practice safer sex. Best quote from the article: "People in these relationships really communicate. They communicate to death.”
A great article by Josefin Hedlund (@josefinhedlund) about love as ‘a revolutionary force to challenge norms, promote feminist practice, and to reject capitalism’. If you like reading about intersectionality, feminism, and queering society's traditional view of love, read this article.
Mel Mariposa (@PolySingleish) writes about the downside of Radical Self Reliance, one of the ten principles of Burning Man. She examines the problems with placing individuals above community, and how intimacy and compassion suffer when Radical Self Reliance trumps connecting to the people around you.
Although this piece by Briallen Hopper (@briallenhopper) on @TheCut doesn’t mention relationship anarchy at all, it is a really well written and thoughtful piece about the way society values couples over friendships. As someone who has always put a ton of energy into my friendships, this article really spoke to me.
Dr. Charlie Glickman (@charlieglickman), a sex educator and author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure, wrote a blog post about Consent Accidents, which he defines as different from consent violations. Consent accidents ‘happen because of error, miscommunication, misunderstanding, or not having all the information.’ What should we do if we violate a person’s consent accidentally? This post gives some suggestions on how to navigate.
Via The Anarchist Library and written in 2004 before the term Relationship Anarchy was coined, Mae Bee discusses abolishing power structures and coercion in our relationships.
Franklin Veaux (@franklinveaux), author of More Than Two (@MTTbook) explores the difference between rules and boundaries, and how we can use direct communication to get our needs met without stepping on the needs of others.
A very good article by The Critical Polyamorist (@CriticalPoly), where she examines her relationship with nonmonogamy, how she has struggled against a couple-centric, rule bound society and how she works daily against her conditioned monogamy.
Janani Balasubramanian writes for Black Girl Dangerous (@BGDblog) about power dynamics in poly relationships. All of these are good to keep in mind, #8 especially applies to RA: Recognize that your non-romantic and non-sexual relationships are also real and valid! Keep your understanding of love broad and political accordingly.
This blog post was written by flamingfoxtale (@imnocowboy) on the website Emotional Mutation in response to the article The Mass Exodus of Polyamorous People Toward Relationship Anarchy, written by Louise Leontiades (@AskLouloria). Flamingfoxtale writes that relationship anarchy is not just a different way of doing intimacy; it’s an integration of your relationship politics with your politics regarding the police, the government, and other oppressive systems.
Zine by Andie Lyons and Shannon Perez-Darby (@PerezDarby) written in 2007 about being ‘two radically queer kids’ in Denver in 2007, from the Queer Zines Archine Project. Written around the same time as Andie Nordgren was first using the term Relationship Anarchy, you can see the seeds if it here. ‘I try to treat the people I date more like my friends - to try to be respectful and thoughtful and have boundaries and reasonable expectations - and try to treat my friends more like my dates - give them special attention, honor my commitments to them, be consistent, and invest deeply in our futures together.’
This is a short blog post in which the author answers the question What does relationship anarchy mean to you? If you asked yourself the same question, what would your answer be?