Clare Wiley (@Clare_Wiley) interviewed Mel Mariposa (@PolySingleish), Meg-John Barker (@megjohnbarker) and myself (@RAisTweeting), to talk about the rise of relationship anarchy, what it means for us, and why we put the work in.
Is the most romantic thing you can say to a partner ‘I don’t need you’? This is a short post about dismantling the idea of That Special Someone, and keeping people in your life because you want them there, not because you need things from them.
Louisa Leontiades (@AskLouloria) looks at how the mainstream media equates polyamory with sex, and how that has impacted people’s perception of the word polyamory. The author explains this is one of her reasons adopting the term relationship anarchy.
The Thinking Asexual questions how to create equality in relationships with the words we use to describe them. The word “partner” has a lot of meaning attached to it from the monogamous world, meaning that relationship anarchy seeks to reject. With the limited words we have, what is the alternative to partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, etc.?
Ane Vegane’s article on DIY Conspiracy (@DIYconspiracy) writes about having ‘deep and uncompromising’ relationships with her friends. She has a great way of explaining how If we don’t use hierarchies, we won’t have ‘primary’ partners or ‘best’ friends. Relationships can unfold naturally, without expectations or strict boundaries.
Ian MacKenzie (@ianmack) interviews Mel Mariposa (@PolySingleish) to discuss relationship anarchy, developing community, and having authentic relationships. They get into some interesting stuff that you rarely read about in RA posts. There is also a transcript posted if you’re unable to listen.
Written by Sadie Ryanne (@thedistantpanic) for The Scavenger (@thescavengermag). While she doesn’t use the term RA, this is an excellent article on non-normative relationships, and how infinite configurations are both possible and valid.
Although this piece by Briallen Hopper (@briallenhopper) on @TheCut doesn’t mention relationship anarchy at all, it is a really well written and thoughtful piece about the way society values couples over friendships. As someone who has always put a ton of energy into my friendships, this article really spoke to me.
Franklin Veaux (@franklinveaux), author of More Than Two (@MTTbook) explores the difference between rules and boundaries, and how we can use direct communication to get our needs met without stepping on the needs of others.
In this article by Miri (@sondosia), she only briefly mentions relationship anarchy, but she does make the case for not having relationship rules. She discusses how broken rules can place blame on someone else, where if you don’t have rules you must take responsibility for yourself and your own feelings.
Consent has been talked about more in recent years, which is great. However most of the talk focuses on sexual consent. There are many other situations in which we can apply the rule of enthusiastic consent, and in this article Suzannah Weiss (@suzannahweiss) highlights some of those ways. I think this is very relevant to relationship anarchy, which is founded on principles of consent.