Originally posted in 2006 on a Swedish website. Written by Andie Nordgren (@nordgren), one of the first people to use the term relationship anarchy. This is a great starting point for someone just starting to look into RA. It has nine short paragraphs that cover the basics, from valuing each relationship independently to designing commitments that work in your life.
After Louisa Leontiades (@AskLouloria) wrote The Mass Exodus of Polyamorous People Toward Relationship Anarchy, some people felt as though the term relationship anarchy was being appropriated. This article reflects on that, and explains what relationship anarchy means to her.
The Thinking Asexual questions how to create equality in relationships with the words we use to describe them. The word “partner” has a lot of meaning attached to it from the monogamous world, meaning that relationship anarchy seeks to reject. With the limited words we have, what is the alternative to partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, etc.?
Ane Vegane’s article on DIY Conspiracy (@DIYconspiracy) writes about having ‘deep and uncompromising’ relationships with her friends. She has a great way of explaining how If we don’t use hierarchies, we won’t have ‘primary’ partners or ‘best’ friends. Relationships can unfold naturally, without expectations or strict boundaries.
Ian MacKenzie (@ianmack) interviews Mel Mariposa (@PolySingleish) to discuss relationship anarchy, developing community, and having authentic relationships. They get into some interesting stuff that you rarely read about in RA posts. There is also a transcript posted if you’re unable to listen.
The Thinking Asexual three types of non-monogamy: hierarchical polyamory, non-hierarchical polyamory and relationship anarchy. The differences between non-hierarchical poly and RA can be a confusing, this post goes over some of the reasons they are different. It also delves into how an RA might view non-romantic / nonsexual friendships.
Written by Sadie Ryanne (@thedistantpanic) for The Scavenger (@thescavengermag). While she doesn’t use the term RA, this is an excellent article on non-normative relationships, and how infinite configurations are both possible and valid.
Franklin Veaux (@franklinveaux), author of More Than Two (@MTTbook) explores the difference between rules and boundaries, and how we can use direct communication to get our needs met without stepping on the needs of others.
Janani Balasubramanian writes for Black Girl Dangerous (@BGDblog) about power dynamics in poly relationships. All of these are good to keep in mind, #8 especially applies to RA: Recognize that your non-romantic and non-sexual relationships are also real and valid! Keep your understanding of love broad and political accordingly.
Ghia Vitale (@GhiaWasHere) writes about her struggles using the word ‘friend’ to describe all of her relationships. Trying to live without hierarchies can result in erasure of important people in your life, as people still struggle to grasp new styles of relationships.
In Part 3, blogger Rotten Zucchini writes about some of the contradictions that can pop up when we want our relationships to approaching relationships without expectations and wanting them to be equal.