The author writes about his experience redefining romantic relationships & friends vs. lovers. He spent time touring with his band, and notice the close bonds that were formed. His friendships were allowed to evolve in an unlimited number of ways, and they also had very few demands placed on the people in the relationship. This article explores how he decided to take these same characteristics and apply them to the romantic relationships in his life.
Louisa Leontiades (@AskLouloria) looks at how the mainstream media equates polyamory with sex, and how that has impacted people’s perception of the word polyamory. The author explains this is one of her reasons adopting the term relationship anarchy.
After Louisa Leontiades (@AskLouloria) wrote The Mass Exodus of Polyamorous People Toward Relationship Anarchy, some people felt as though the term relationship anarchy was being appropriated. This article reflects on that, and explains what relationship anarchy means to her.
The Thinking Asexual questions how to create equality in relationships with the words we use to describe them. The word “partner” has a lot of meaning attached to it from the monogamous world, meaning that relationship anarchy seeks to reject. With the limited words we have, what is the alternative to partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, etc.?
Ane Vegane’s article on DIY Conspiracy (@DIYconspiracy) writes about having ‘deep and uncompromising’ relationships with her friends. She has a great way of explaining how If we don’t use hierarchies, we won’t have ‘primary’ partners or ‘best’ friends. Relationships can unfold naturally, without expectations or strict boundaries.
Rob Martin (@version2beta) on @Medium explains consent using different scenarios, breaking it down into five categories: natural, explicit, implicit, delegated and appropriated. He writes that consent is a central tenet of relationship anarchy, and uses it to compare and contrast different relationship models to RA.
Written by Sadie Ryanne (@thedistantpanic) for The Scavenger (@thescavengermag). While she doesn’t use the term RA, this is an excellent article on non-normative relationships, and how infinite configurations are both possible and valid.
What if we don’t need a ‘best friend’ or a ‘true love’? What if we had discussions with everyone in our life about our boundaries? @saulofhearts on @Medium applies principles of polyamory (and RA) to see how they can elevate all our relationships.
Mel Mariposa (@PolySingleish) writes about the downside of Radical Self Reliance, one of the ten principles of Burning Man. She examines the problems with placing individuals above community, and how intimacy and compassion suffer when Radical Self Reliance trumps connecting to the people around you.
Although this piece by Briallen Hopper (@briallenhopper) on @TheCut doesn’t mention relationship anarchy at all, it is a really well written and thoughtful piece about the way society values couples over friendships. As someone who has always put a ton of energy into my friendships, this article really spoke to me.
Franklin Veaux (@franklinveaux), author of More Than Two (@MTTbook) explores the difference between rules and boundaries, and how we can use direct communication to get our needs met without stepping on the needs of others.
A very good article by The Critical Polyamorist (@CriticalPoly), where she examines her relationship with nonmonogamy, how she has struggled against a couple-centric, rule bound society and how she works daily against her conditioned monogamy.
Belenen (@belenen) on why they identify as a relationship anarchist. How do we make space for growth in our relationships, and value them beyond the standard escalator model? They write about relationships being ‘continuously voluntary associations’ and commitments as ‘making decision anew every day’.
Ghia Vitale (@GhiaWasHere) writes about her struggles using the word ‘friend’ to describe all of her relationships. Trying to live without hierarchies can result in erasure of important people in your life, as people still struggle to grasp new styles of relationships.
In this article by Miri (@sondosia), she only briefly mentions relationship anarchy, but she does make the case for not having relationship rules. She discusses how broken rules can place blame on someone else, where if you don’t have rules you must take responsibility for yourself and your own feelings.