Carolyn Yates (@c_yates) interviews Josie Kearns, a 33 year-old queer, poly, white, trans woman about opening up her relationship, identifying as a relationship anarchist and living in an intentional community.
Clare Wiley (@Clare_Wiley) interviewed Mel Mariposa (@PolySingleish), Meg-John Barker (@megjohnbarker) and myself (@RAisTweeting), to talk about the rise of relationship anarchy, what it means for us, and why we put the work in.
Originally posted in 2006 on a Swedish website. Written by Andie Nordgren (@nordgren), one of the first people to use the term relationship anarchy. This is a great starting point for someone just starting to look into RA. It has nine short paragraphs that cover the basics, from valuing each relationship independently to designing commitments that work in your life.
The Thinking Asexual has a lot of good blog posts, and much of what is written about how asexuals experience relationships is relevant to RA, particularly in regards to not elevating one type of relationship above another. This blog post offers an overview, lots of definitions and examples, and an explanation of how RA applies to asexuals, aromantics, mixed orientation sexual people, and celibates.
An article on Psychology Today (@PsychToday), written by Dr. Elisabeth Sheff (@drelisheff1), who is a global expert on polyamory and also the author of The Polyamorists Next Door. In this article, she explore the spectrum of non-monogamy, from cheating (unethical, non-consensual non-monogamy) through polygamy, swinging and RA.
The author writes about his experience redefining romantic relationships & friends vs. lovers. He spent time touring with his band, and notice the close bonds that were formed. His friendships were allowed to evolve in an unlimited number of ways, and they also had very few demands placed on the people in the relationship. This article explores how he decided to take these same characteristics and apply them to the romantic relationships in his life.
Is the most romantic thing you can say to a partner ‘I don’t need you’? This is a short post about dismantling the idea of That Special Someone, and keeping people in your life because you want them there, not because you need things from them.
Louisa Leontiades (@AskLouloria) looks at how the mainstream media equates polyamory with sex, and how that has impacted people’s perception of the word polyamory. The author explains this is one of her reasons adopting the term relationship anarchy.
After Louisa Leontiades (@AskLouloria) wrote The Mass Exodus of Polyamorous People Toward Relationship Anarchy, some people felt as though the term relationship anarchy was being appropriated. This article reflects on that, and explains what relationship anarchy means to her.
The Thinking Asexual questions how to create equality in relationships with the words we use to describe them. The word “partner” has a lot of meaning attached to it from the monogamous world, meaning that relationship anarchy seeks to reject. With the limited words we have, what is the alternative to partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, etc.?
Ane Vegane’s article on DIY Conspiracy (@DIYconspiracy) writes about having ‘deep and uncompromising’ relationships with her friends. She has a great way of explaining how If we don’t use hierarchies, we won’t have ‘primary’ partners or ‘best’ friends. Relationships can unfold naturally, without expectations or strict boundaries.
Ian MacKenzie (@ianmack) interviews Mel Mariposa (@PolySingleish) to discuss relationship anarchy, developing community, and having authentic relationships. They get into some interesting stuff that you rarely read about in RA posts. There is also a transcript posted if you’re unable to listen.
The Thinking Asexual three types of non-monogamy: hierarchical polyamory, non-hierarchical polyamory and relationship anarchy. The differences between non-hierarchical poly and RA can be a confusing, this post goes over some of the reasons they are different. It also delves into how an RA might view non-romantic / nonsexual friendships.
Rob Martin (@version2beta) on @Medium explains consent using different scenarios, breaking it down into five categories: natural, explicit, implicit, delegated and appropriated. He writes that consent is a central tenet of relationship anarchy, and uses it to compare and contrast different relationship models to RA.
Written by Sadie Ryanne (@thedistantpanic) for The Scavenger (@thescavengermag). While she doesn’t use the term RA, this is an excellent article on non-normative relationships, and how infinite configurations are both possible and valid.
What if we don’t need a ‘best friend’ or a ‘true love’? What if we had discussions with everyone in our life about our boundaries? @saulofhearts on @Medium applies principles of polyamory (and RA) to see how they can elevate all our relationships.